writing, hope, and rubber duckies

boy, oh boy. am i sure excited to be writing for The Laurel!

this week, i got to interview Kitty Love and talk to her about her vision for the arts community in Asheville. she's quite the powerhouse and as Executive Director of the The Asheville Area Arts Council, she's in a position to help so many people.

i also got to interview Stina Anderson, the amazingly creative renegade seamstress at The ARTery Fashion and Sewing Studio.

if you've seen my facebook profile this week, you know i've been shamelessly blah-blah-blah-ing about this. well, in my defense, it's not everyday that powerful people sit down with me to talk about their passions. and if they do, it's not like i can . . . you know, do anything about it.

until i can.

as i consider this opportunity and the problems and travails of writing for other people, many concerns and excitements flit about. i guess if these excitements and concerns were fused together, they might become something resembling . . . hope.

this work is an act of hope. it is more than information. it is my love letter to what is meaningful about people, their dreams, efforts, and convictions. behind every success story (and they are all works-in-progress) is a vision. i hope that each piece conveys some bit of truth and meaning, in the subject's eyes. i think, if i can manage that, then the reader will willingly walk in their world, for a very brief moment.

then, this work is also an opportunity to "see." i get to sit down and really "see" something or someone. and then, i get to share what i see. our world is against seeing. media, more often than not, reflects this. real seeing is an act of hope and optimism.

i confess: i am obsessed. with who we are, how we create, how we "see," how and why we gather together, how we isolate ourselves. i am obsessed with our passions, what disappoints us . . . and how we lie to one another. i am obsessed with our work, what we do, what our work-spaces say about who we are and what we love. i am obsessed with it all because i am a poet. in my mind everything is symbolic, and to that end, I exhaust myself. i am a fetish-hunter, a symbol-maker, a story-teller. i can't help it; it's just what i do.

what i am not obsessed with are things like correct comma placement, formatting, and editing for overly complex sentence structures. yeah, and i adore sentence fragments, too. sometimes i like wordiness just because. and screw capitalization . . .

i am debuting a new series called "Gathering Places" in February which i think might satisfy my obsession a bit. more on that to come.

and speaking of Brazil, i am going to play with my angel and devil rubber duckies now.

what I've been up to, in question and answer form

Whew! The last 5 months have been quite the whirlwind. As promised, here are the highlights in a simple question and answer form:

What the heck is going on with your active-wear line??

Well, actually I like to call it a life-wear line. And, it's still on my desk. I began designing in September and then, decided to move so all my energy went towards that. So, I'm in mid-design phase.

Are you still planning on doing it??

YES! I still plan on creating the designs, having patterns made, and going through the sampling process. I will then test the market. If it makes sense to go forward, I will!

Where did you move to?

I moved to Asheville, North Carolina.

Do you like it??

No. I adore it.

Name 7 exciting things that have happened to you in the past 5 months:

-- I changed jobs; well, sorta. It's a work in progress.
-- I have formed a strategic partnership with Royal Peasantry Design House in Asheville, NC & begun selling vintage clothing, and making other stuff.
-- I got a boyfriend!
-- I have teamed up with The Laurel and will be writing a weekly article. I will be writing on arts, culture, and community and I look forward to exploring the area's rich culture. I have some sweet ideas; maybe I can even get my editor to go for them!
-- I am really a writer. I am still trying to get my life structured so that I can have dedicated time to write. That's what this whole self-employment thing is about. Even though I have faced the fact that I will probably not be able to have dedicated time within the next 6 months, I have promised myself to never forget that I am a poet -- that all this work is for that. And meanwhile, I get to build something I really enjoy and that I think I'll be pretty good at. My last job taught me the importance of enjoying one's vocation.
-- I learned how to swing + blues dance.
-- Chiropractic treatments. I am actually taller now. And my legs are the same length. For real.

Why did you pick 7 exciting things to share?? Isn't that an awkward number??

Why yes, it is.

What are you most looking forward to in the New Year?

-- Getting myself established financially by growing my business + whatever the heck else it takes
-- Naming my business; how does one pull together costume pieces, kitten-ish vintage, and playful garments like tutus, jazz pants, and corsets anyway?
-- Getting myself to a point where I can have dance, pilates, and silks lessons every week!
-- Writing lots of fun articles
-- Going blues dancing and drinking lots of whisky
-- Going to Mexico with my boyfriend & cajoling him in the event he changes his mind
-- Getting into a writing routine
-- Making pretty stuff that makes people feel good
-- Being in front of a camera
-- Hosting the first annual "Dirty Girlz" Scrabble night at mi casa. A delightful way to warm up a cold January evening.

What are some of the things you're making, or thinking of making, these days?

I am making very sassy tutus for big girls. These tutus are perfect for a sweet night out or Valentines day. I am also learning to make corsets. If all goes well, I can't wait to fuse the corset form with some Japanese elements. I am particularly inspired by traditional Japanese rope bondage, shunga prints, and the unusually bold color palettes. Folding and other elaborate manipulations also intrigue me. My items can be found at Royal Peasantry Boutique on Lexington Ave. in Asheville. And, I will be on ETSY soon (gimmie a minute on that one!). I am also finishing up a headpiece. Well, it only took 6 months.

Do you like making stuff?

Not really. I like designing stuff. Until I can get others to make the stuff I design, then I have to make it.

Do you consider yourself an artist?

No. I consider myself a writer, and in the absense of that, a highly creative person.

What are you reading these days?

I just found a very special magazine called BULLETT. It's amazing. And beautiful. The most beautiful and thoughtfully edited arts and culture magazine I have ever seen.

What are you doing for New Years?

Well, I want to go to the LindyFocus dance but if I decide to go more thrifty, I will go see My Week with Marilyn.

What is your favorite letter?

L.

quiet time is homework time

well, this is business. you take the good with the bad. and like the rest of life, there is always a lot going on under the surface. as i mentioned in my last post, the active parts of the business are in a quiet phase.

what i can concentrate on at this moment and for the immediate future is product design and fabric testing.

i have chosen some test fabrics. therefore, i can order a little bit and start making and wearing stuff. wait - doesn't sound like business?? ah, it's called product development -- in particular testing the way a fabric feels, wears, and washes over time. most lines do not have time to do this because the faster a product gets to market, the faster money can be made. i'm not tryin to argue with an economic law, but a sweet lil' start-up like mine can take a little more time in this phase because sometimes there is more time than money! and my product will wear beautifully over time -- guaranteed.

so, i'm taking advantage of my quiet phase to do my homework.

that said, i found a handy little site that might be a great help to me raising the seed money for this project.

check out Indie GoGo. This is a nice and effective way to raise funds for your project and i do plan on using it once my august changes have passed. i'm thinking: fall.

that said, check out this little tapestry i scored from e-bay!!!!

yes, i know it's obnoxious to feature it twice in the same article but isn't it lovely for a dancing, gypsying laydee like me???

i just can't wait to add music, candles, a handmade top and headpiece, and a money basket to it!! i am learning some nice ATS moves in sparrow's class at Studio Zahiya in downtown Asheville that will come in very handy!

see ya on the streetz of asheville, folks.

dreams are fragile

i have been enjoying the fabric sourcing phase.

that sounds so industrial, and not at all inspiring.

what i mean to say is that many of my samples have come in and now i get to see, smell, and feel them. only a few of them made the cut and my sourcing is far from over.

i mapped out a bunch of other stuff i really need to get done such as: creating color boards and designing, choosing fabrics, starting fundraising for the initial seed funds, brainstorming possible investors, naming the line, and of course, thinking about marketing.

whew! that is a lot of planning & execution to take care of. in one item metioned above, there is a huge process that needs to take place.

it will be important to keep things as simple as possible.

a transition of a different sort is taking precedence right now so the business is on the back burner, simmering quite nicely.

once this other effort is done, i can pick the business up full force (you know, that gargantuan list afore mentioned). and i do promise to let everyone know what the heck i am talking about as soon as i can. it is something i am very excited about and also something that needs my undivided attention.

undivided attention is a challenge for me; there are so many things I want to do! i can definitely fall into the trap of dividing my attention so much that nothing is really ever complete. i think this is something most creative people experience.

i was thinking about Jen Louden's basket theory. she proposes that we can only have about 4 baskets at any given time. each basket represents a project or goal.

i have been working with about 8 baskets and i got burned out this weekend! so i reduced my baskets and now i feel a lot better.

granted, one must accept some loss in this negotation. for example, i probably won't be able to busk this year. drats! i was just dreaming about my busking adventures, taking pictures of my fellow buskers (real pictures -- you know, as in coffee-table book pictures), and simply having some good stories to tell at parties.

however, there is always next year.

however, the energy i'm concentrating towards a couple of great, big goals are more likely to be realized.

first: my big mystery goal. then, my business.

it's really important when you have dreams you are working towards to know when to give yourself a break and to realistically assess other demands on your time and your current sources of support.

dreams are fragile; we need to be gentle with them as we also advocate fiercely on their behalf.

there's nothing like a deadline

so, today i ran into Danielle Miller, of Royal Peasantry. our conversations included an opportunity for some nude art modelling, my prospective career as a muse, and attending TribeO.

we decided to go in together as vendors at TribeO. seeing as how i had already decided i wanted to vend, this was an amazing opportunity.

Danielle has a strong, local following and her designs are very belly-dancer friendly. she designs much (if not all) of the fabulous costuming for Onca O'Leary, the colorful mistress of so many perfomance art and production projects, they are too various to name here.

though i had already decided to go to TribeO as both an attendee and vendor, this decision was still a bit soft until i realized what a great idea it would be to partner with Danielle for the purpose of debuting my designs.

shall we say i rushed home and got started on the hand beading of my first head piece?

considering the fact that i have not sewn in oh, 6 months, it went quite well.

the beads are from craft stores, and reclaimed/antique jewlery. the flower is a little something i put together last year in Fashionado's Vincent Martinez's class at Penland School of Crafts.

i burnt the edges to achieve some of the texture and hand sculpted the flowers. ahh, that sounds so skillful but honestly, it's quite easy. i wouldn't be doing it if it wasn't. at any rate, i do like the effect of the burnt edging and plan to make more for this piece.

last year, when i took Vincent's class, i gathered bits and pieces of metals finery, mostly out of the garbage or loot bins. i had all kinds of designs in mind, particularly masks and manga-inspired head pieces. however, i could not bring myself to actually make one as i could not place it in a real context.

after all, where the heck would i have worn that post-modern geisha piece made out of pink millenery flowers, bone-white shell falls, and found twigs???

seriously folks, gone are the days of all night and day raves for this lady.

dance, however, gives me a perfect stage for my obsession for glamour, drama, and head adornment.

in other words, i think i am a drag queen, tragically misplaced in a woman's body.

and if you ever scare the shit out of yourself because you suddenly have to create a bunch of handmade stock to sell beside an amazing designer and artist at a well-known event . . . well, i highly recommend this musical score to keep your sweet, anxious fingers moving and your soul soothed.

more insight into the textile industry

why was i so afraid of calling reps and mills? you can read about my phone fright in an earlier post.

so far, I've talked to 3 reps and they have been helpful, informative, and all-around wonderful.

i have many, many samples on the way. they should be here next week.

they are coming from envirotextiles, kendor, pickering, and sextet.

i also still need to put a phone call into a rep i met at a local soiree. he and his wife own four lines, as well as a brick and mortar here in Asheville. they do all their design, product development, manufacturing, and selling (both wholesale and retail).

basically, they are living my dream life.

his wife covers most of the design work while he covers the sourcing and manufacturing aspects. he offered me a 15-minute free consultation at the party -- probably the serendipitous result of too much champagne and a very naughty burlesque performance from the lovely Queen April.

i came away with a solid figure to get through the product development phase, a strong local contact with over 30 years in the industry, and a potential partnership. he asked me to wait until july to call, and here we are -- july.

i am learning all kinds of fascinating things, among them some basic vocabulary:

PFD (prepare for dye)
PFP (prepare for print)
lab dip
asking dye facilities to reframe into a roll after applications
asking facilties for whole package quotes and CMT quotes

i am also wrapping up the preliminary market research with a final push for respondants going out next week. provided my dance teacher samiTe' agrees to helping out via her facebook page, i could expect between 15 and 20 more of those. another of my teachers, the fabulous Lisa Zahiya asked her followers to take my survey and many of them did so i know this is a successful approach.

i would be interested to know from any readers who are into marketing what a good ballpark number is in terms of marketing survey responces.

it will be a pleasure to wrap the survey research up, finally choose my line ambassadors, and give an IPOD gift certificate away.

it will also be a real joy to get into the actual design and sampling work once i have chosen my fabrics. i learned about this practice at Kathleen Fasanella's Fashion Incubator site.

this is a great resource for people who want to design and profit from their designs. this is all the stuff fashion schools probably don't teach you.

you may exit with a strong foundation in design, an introduction to retail and marketing, and intermediate sewing and construction skills after leaving a fashion design program. but Kathleen's site is a wealth of information as to how to translate that to the entrepreneurial and manufacturing worlds.

well, it's time for me to practice my choreography and work on the head piece, which i am also exploring as a one-of-a-kind couture product for dancers. in that vein, i need to purchase some display heads and vintage saris in the very near future.

some thoughts on poetry & fashion

i haven't always considered myself a fashion maven. ok, i still really don't consider myself a fashion maven, but a lot of people tend to comment on my "style" -- my eye for garments, how to put them together, how they look on the body, the fantasies and ideas they create in the wearer and the viewer, how these ideas create a relationship.

well ok, nobody mentions the last couple of afore mentioned things. that doesn't mean they're not happening for me. if someone is watching me, i am watching them. i am watching them watch me. i am thinking about their gaze.

i love the stealth factor of fashion. what i bring to an outfit is part social experiment, part internal observation, and part cultural critique.

in the mix: identity, sexuality, history, confrontation, legacy, feminism, politic (mine and yours), class, memory, the image, objectivity, subjectivity, poetry, power.

especially poetry, especially power.

i am perverse. i love that i can control another's perception and gaze through the simple ritual act of "getting dressed." for me, clothing is so many things, the least of which is a costume. what lies beneath?

i suspect many people might say: not much.

this derives from the cultural and artistic biases both against and for fashion. this is really a GENDER bias, but that is neither here nor there. it's pointless to discuss the point with anyone who assumes they are smarter or more evolved than me. and most people do, because i embrace and express my love of fashion and the garment.

what i really wish to do is talk a little poetry.

when i was in my early 20s, i got the opportunity to design and create costumes for several theatre productions. this allowed me to combine my love of the garment with my love of story. it was sublime.

understanding clothing means understanding character. this is something i wish more people understood. the garment communicates character through time (i.e. plot). always.

poetry enters story when it creates that musical, wonderful, heart-breaking resonance within us, within something within us.

it's an integrity of yes.

it is a ghost unseen.

we only know of its presense by the signal clues in our environment. and its resistance of logical proof is what makes it so, so beautiful.

and then we want to explain the beauty -- why it happened to us, what made us deserving, what makes the jumping off point of inspiration sacrosanct.

and so on.

poetry is the only "thing" that can be anywhere, at any time, in anything, in anyone.

it is Lorca's duende, it is punk fucking rock.

we can do this with garments. we don't have to; we certainly don't need to. we can put the garment on for the simple fact that it gives us pleasure to do so. we can put it on because it's easy . . . or because it's clean. however, should we choose to add a little poetry, we can.

when i write poetry, i often enter my poems through the image of a character in the poem. usually, this involves garments. when i dress, i enter the character and tone of the day.

my grandmother gave me a pair of her driving gloves, and a piece of lace. i create chrysanthemum-yellow shapes with Indian skirts when i dance. my grandfather was buried in his favorite gray suit. the fine ladies of Rome cry melting tears when Valentino retires.

one day, i shall write a book of outfits. one day, i shall wear a poem. none of it will be genius. i don't care about that. which is why it just might be genius. but probably not.

4 phone calls & thoughts on my "market"

i did it! first phone calls made and samples on the way. more talks with reps to come. i'm getting samples from Kendor, Pickering, Sextet, and Envirotextile. if all goes as hoped, i will also be meeting with a local rep and designer who might (will) introduce me to some new mills and fabrics. that's a july thing. by the end of july, my goal is to have fabrics selected and to have designs done.

i also need to prettify this blog at some point.

more materials arriving for my headpiece and i should be ready to rock on that next week.

for you embellishers and belly dancers out there i found a great resource & bloggy-blog-thing. Check out the book Embellished Bras: Basic Technique and the author's fabulous blog.

i also re-read my market research surveys this morning. i am so grateful to all the women who took the time to tell me about themselves.

99% of my respondents said that fit and comfortability was THE most important thing when selecting their activewear.

why should that be so difficult? because most activewear is crap OR it is not designed for dancers. so we end up wearing performance wear to class -- as a dancer, i want my clothing to move and feel a certain way -- i do not want to feel like i'm getting ready for my next curl set. if we don't wear performance wear, then we are wearing regular little tank tops.

here is what we do: we lift up the bottom part over our chest so that we can see our bellies for class. then, when class is over we cover our bellies again. it's like DIY convertible dancewear.

am i the only person out there who would like a better option??

the focus on fit and comfortability is logical when we consider that over 90% of the respondants wear the activewear between 3 and 7 days a week. that's a lot of wear, mama.

combined with the fact that most of them are moms who are wearing activewear around the house and on errands and such and we have the perfect recipe for pieces that fit seamlessly into many aspects of life, feel good, last a long time, & are designed FOR dancers.

the women who i design for love life, their families, and themselves.

they are brave.

they are showing up for life with passion and verve.

market is a term that does not describe them very well. i am thinking of a better descriptive term...

four phone calls

Today I did some fabric research for my line. I looked at 4 different mills and several cotton/soy/bamboo/spandex blends. The next step is to make some phone calls.

Why does this feel so hard??

I mean, it does not feel hard in a bad way . . . you know, that creeping note of begrudgement when you're forcing the march. Rather, it's the unsettling fear of failure. Fear of failure does not really start to arise until you are acting on something. Something you really want.

In no particular order, the fears can be idenitifed more specifically:

-- Fear of not knowing what the next step is
--Fear you won't have the energy, confidence, or chops to take the next step
--Fear that you'll look stupid
--Fear that you've made the wrong decision, chucked your chips in the wrong basket
--Fear of "No"
--(And) at least 100 other inarticulate flavors of fear

Now this is the point we can either continue to tell ourselves stories or we can face facts.

This is the fear of four phone calls.

For me, it's four phone calls; for you it might be something completely different.

I know that once I confront this fear, more fear will crop up -- fears corresponding to a particular action I am taking or preparing to take.

Making peace with a moderate to high level of fear and risk is part of being in business. Hell, it's part of living life.

Solution = committment and acceptance.

--Commit to taking the action, come what may.

--Accept fear at any point in the process (err . . . okay, every point in the process).

Fear will woo you by making you believe you can cajole or otherwise lead it away from you. Bury that bone.

My committment?? Phone calls on next day off. In fact, let's take it up notch. Phone appointments on next day off & a fundraising calendar (for the phase 1 seed fund campaign).

Hell to the yeah!

What is the phase 1 seed fund you ask???

Oh, now things will really start to get interesting.

Stay tuned!

gypsy journey and a business idea

you cannot walk straight when the road bends ~ romany proverb

last night, i went to the americana and burlesque sideshow festival here in asheville, north carolina.

ashe-vegas, portland of the south, paris of the south . . . i've heard several glamorous descriptors for this little mountain town that curiously balances its traditional appalachian roots with a thriving arts and avant garde community.

asheville, perhaps the only town in the south where anything really does go -- even next to beautiful, wilting, shabby Nawlins, there is a palpable creative freedom here that is unmatched.

suddenly, i am a fish in water.

but not yet.

my path here was circuitous ~ i came by way of the outer banks, several countries and states, a 10 year marriage, various college degrees, backtracking, crippling self-doubt, suffering, and an unanswered question of grief.

i really didn't know who i was until i started dancing.

i started in my living room and danced to whatever made me feel good. i won't describe the very real isolation that my circumstances dictated at the time but suffice it to say i had little reason for hope.

through dance, one thing led to another and slowly, i clarified the principles that were important to me in 3 simple, bright words.

love, beauty, freedom.

and that's how i came to my business idea. of course, that too was an evolution in itself. and i'm not sure how it happened. i just kept dancing, hoping, working, and yes, thinking.

now dance class, performances, and festivals like absfest is "research" and i couldn't be more delighted about that.

follow your heart = follow whatever delights you.

that's freedom.

but learning what delights you and following it is a skill and discipline. this is what they never tell you.

follow your delight, darlings and stay curious about all the little winding inroads to beauty.

now, here, a pretty little something to delight you.

let's go!

what is pretty things?

it is a blog that focuses on my attempt to design, manufacture, and profit off of a clothing line. i didn't go to fashion design school or business school. i am actually a writer, teacher, dancer and jack of many trades who is designing a line for dancers. i hate to say "active-wear" but yes, ladies and gentleman, this is the uninspiring terminiolgy of the marketplace.

you might find pretty things interesting if you are an aspiring designer, entrepreneur, or someone with big dreams who is determined to see it through ~ no matter what your circumstances are or who thinks that you don't have what it takes.

this is not a cute or clever blog. this blog will detail the messiness of dreaming, creating, building a business, confronting and (hopefully) overcoming obstacles, and enjoying a magical-mojo-success-making journey ~ come what may.

let's go!